just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
