Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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