Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
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Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
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when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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