Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You can't special order awesome
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
