I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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