I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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