"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
