I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
