The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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