I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize