he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
