I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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