so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
