Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
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instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
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He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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