I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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