Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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