what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
