i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
