My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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