You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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