I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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