Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
