just tell him i said nine months
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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