I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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