The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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