the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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