So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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