i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
