You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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