i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
