thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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