No stitches, just platelets and will power
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize