I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
where are my eyebrows?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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