i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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