My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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