it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
In other news, I just burned my penis
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
