she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
