I'm going to jail i love you
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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