is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
