it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
