If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize