ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize