she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
