Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize