Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
