U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
