Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
