goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
