I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
