i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
