How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
