he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
vagina is talking i cant
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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