A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
