Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
