Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
