We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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