I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do vagina's smell?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
