I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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