Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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