she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
